>Scared. Monday, March 14, 2011 @ 7:31 PM
You know what? I'm scared, of people taking my place. I'm scared that if I don't do something right, or if I do something wrong, I'll get left behind, and that the place I once had, no matter how small, will be taken away. That's why, I don't like it when people do the same thing as I do, because it's happened before, and at that time, I wasn't acknowledged, but it was the other person. And that's why I show the least amount of interest when someone really likes something that I happen to like too. I pretend that I don't care, so that people don't think I'm copying, and that I'm trying to be just like them, but,it's also hard to express myself sometimes. And besides, how can I express myself if times I've tried haven't been heard by anyone, or if they didn't even seem to care?
That's also why I don't get along with people easily. I might so at first, but even so, I keep my distance, because I'm scared of being weird or odd to them, making them dislike me. I'm even scared to lose the people that I find are important to me already, because even if I find them to be great friends, I don't know what they think, and because I tend to be pessimistic, I think the worse. And so, I keep myself away from everyone, keeping it the way it is before it changes and hurts.
And again, I don't like people doing the same of similar thing to me, because if they do, they'd definitely be seen and heard more, and then, there'd be nothing unique to me, and me only, out of all the people around me, and then that place for me would be taken, because it's so easy for other's to take it from me.
That's also why I don't get along with people easily. I might so at first, but even so, I keep my distance, because I'm scared of being weird or odd to them, making them dislike me. I'm even scared to lose the people that I find are important to me already, because even if I find them to be great friends, I don't know what they think, and because I tend to be pessimistic, I think the worse. And so, I keep myself away from everyone, keeping it the way it is before it changes and hurts.
And again, I don't like people doing the same of similar thing to me, because if they do, they'd definitely be seen and heard more, and then, there'd be nothing unique to me, and me only, out of all the people around me, and then that place for me would be taken, because it's so easy for other's to take it from me.